A new leaf

I am trying to be more positive about the world. I thought I would give hope a chance and see what happens. And of course the first thing I do is read that there is a new flu coming out of mexico the is deadly and is potentially the next pandemic. So much for hope and being positive eh. Shows you what I get for thinking change was good. I will just go back to expecting the worst and then I wont be surprised when the worst turns out to be true. So if you live in the southwest of the US try to stay away from all those swine. I always knew the pigs would get me. And here I thought all along they would be the ones in blue.

people its people....

I went to the grocery store today as I do most fridays to buy the goods for the week and I had a bit of a strange experience. I was going down the aisle to the checkout counters and of course i walked past the first few lines as they had way too many people lined up and I had gotten about half way down and I saw a line that wasnt very long so I decided to put my cart into line. Now I wasnt in much of a hurry as I didnt have a lot more to do today but I still was trying to pay and leave, well as my cart gets toward the pulling in part a woman comes running and slides between my cart and the conveyor belt, and I guess that make her technically in front of me, Ok, no problem so far I mean if she is so desperate to get ahead fine. But then a full 30 seconds later her husband comes pushing his cart and bangs it into mine as if I hadnt been there the whole time. I swear sometimes people here amaze me and not in the good way. So this lady reaches over my cart and into her husbands and begins to unload her groceries onto the conveyor. I swear in any truly civil country that doesnt happen. I dont care if there are 1.3 billion people in china, they all are not in the supermarket trying to pay so there is no reason to be a complete idiot and show how little education, manners, upbringing, concern, value, and worth you have. I just went to the next counter and got into line there. I had to wait a little longer but at least I wasnt being personally polluted by the overwhelming morons that I had just encountered. It gets better though, so now I am in line and my stuff is actually on the conveyor at the new line and an old lady comes up behind me and is actually pushing me as if that will make the teller ring me up faster. She only had one box and it didnt look heavy so I am not sure what her problem was. The only thing I can figure out is that there is a long row to hoe before this place is ready to take any place on the world stage.

class

I have one group of students that, let me take that back. It is flabbergasting the difference in students and expectations that students in the US and china face. While most students here will tell you that they study very hard and have no free time, I have made an informal questionnaire of students and found that almost none of my students work and go to school at the same time. I am amazed by this. It was so common for students in the US to hold a job at the same time as going to school. And it isnt as if the requirements here in china are so much greater than those of college students in america. If anything I would say the students here are more pampered, walked through and hand held. Let me give you an example. We all remember our college right? Ok I only remember some of it but that is another story. Well in college the students are responsible for making certain that all requirements for matriculation are met. If there are questions then the student must seek the counselors to answer them. Here in china the students are given their schedules complete. Told when and where classes will be, told what electives they will take. Everything is done for them, in no way do they take responsibility for their educational experience. Another example, I didnt fail any of the classes while in my college nor did I pass/fail them. But here there is no pass/fail option for the students. If they fail the entire semester they are given a make-up exam to try again. In the school I worked at before this make-up exam was never graded never looked at by any teacher, never, never, never. I was asked at that school to administer some make-up oral english exams and I was told not to grade lower than a 60 so all students passed. Show up and be told what classes you will take, dont learn, dont work and in four years there it is your college educated. I just dont get how this is good for the country and for the world. I actually expect my students to learn to show me they can think and they freak out. They act like it is the first time in their life they have had to do that, and perhaps it is. I just wonder what it is that the students think they will find once they get out of school. I am not saying that all the classes I took in college were tough and some certainly were shit and could be walked through but even in the easy ones I had to think critically about the topic. I guess it is like they say, different folks college hoax.

lost

Today I lost something. And I hate to lose things. I lost a 4gb flash drive. Now here in china those only cost about 10 dollars so it isnt the money and there wasnt anything of real importance so it isnt that at all, it is just I feel like I personally have let myself down. I really do hate losing stuff. I know people who can shrug it off and move on with their life but I will be thinking about this stupid little thing for weeks into the future. I will be analyzing all the possible places where I could have left it. It will drive me mad. I swear I am happy that I dont lose thing more frequently. I would be really happy if I found the thing in the morning. However I think that I would be pretty unhappy that I had lost something and then found it again because then it means that I am forgetful or not very through in looking for things. See I wont be happy either way, but if I find it then at least I neednt go buy another one nor will I be bothered for weeks looking for something I already.

tix

So I finally got around to getting my tickets back to the US. I wont have much time there just enough to pop in and say hello to the family and some friends then it is back to china. I am both excited and hesitant about going to the US excited because I get to see family and eat the things I want. But hesitant because I have read how the financial crisis is wrecking the people and such and it is not really what I want to see. Plus every time I go back to the US I feel just how much I am not meant to stay there. It is the little things that make me nuts while I am there. And the strangest little thing of all is how much work it is to keep all the conversations out of my head. See here in china I have to try to listen to understand what is being said. So to turn off the comprehension is pretty easy, but in the US I understand everything, people in front of me at the grocery store, people walking on the sidewalk, the TV, everything anyone says. And it is really tiring. I dont know how I did it for so long nor do I know how you all do it everyday, I suppose that with practice it becomes easy to tune out the world, but then you miss the great soundbites that are out there. For instance I was once in a store in the US and a man was on his cellphone and he said,"is darrell there?(pause) well put it on him if it fits him it should fit me." I just cracked up at that one. And to this day I am still smiling about it. Thus I simply can not tune out when I get to the US. It will be a short visit.

time

This year seems to me to be ripping by at an astonishing pace. I just looked at the calender and it is nearly the end of april. I dont even really remember march happening. What is wrong with me. Anyways I was just considering why time seems to pass so much faster as an adult and I think my working theory is as follows, time is not true. See time is really about the spaces between new or notable events. Thus as you get older and less new things or memorable things happen time seems to go faster. Think about it when you were a small kid one day could very well bring you three or four new things, get stung by a bee, ride your bike with no hands, have lasagna, read a book on your own. Four things in the same day time passed very slowly. Now as an adult well do you really want to know what I would need to do to have four new things happen in the same day. Anyway as fewer new things happen there is no new markers for time passing thus I can look up and it is already april 19. See if nothing new happens anytime soon it will be june. See what I mean. time isnt true it is just marked by new things. I might need to go do some sky diving or something so I can "feel young again". Thats what I have been thinking about.