forget

I forget if I mentioned this the other day and I want to be sure that I say it I think I didnt tell you. Last week I bought a few things for the house one of them was a light bulb. The light bulb cost me 2 RMB which is like 30 cents, I actually bought three but I needed two right away so I would have a spare I bought three. Anyways after I got home I opened the first light bulb and there was no problem the second one however was an old one someone had switched out in the store. Now come on people that is just wrong. I understand clever but fucking over the rest of us isnt fair it just sucks. I mean I dont steal your money and then say I am clever, I dont cause you heartache and trouble in order to save 2RMB. It isnt the money hell if the person had just asked me to buy a light bulb for them I would have but to make me have another thing to do on one of my days off seems like such a dick move. Anyways just another example of some of the absurd differences here in the land of the billion.

give and take

I have recently begun to wonder what long term mark I will leave on the world. As someone who has made a habit of looking at history and many of the amazing people that existed and then looking out at the stars and seeing how finite our general knowledge is. What impact do I have? Does it matter? Should I care? Can anyone really have any true long term impact or is that just an illusion that we continue to worship for our own egos. Should I be happy to wake up in the morning is that enough? or is there more?
Just what I have been thinking about.

shake rattle and ....

Today is the one year after the earthquake in sichuan. There were reports of more than 80,000 deaths while this is in itself a huge tragedy leave it to me to find a problem. Here is my two cents. The chinese government just released the official figures for how many school children died when the earthquake struck. Now one would think that this would be an opportunity for the government to get some more sympathy from the people and all. As they went to great lengths to show their response and how mush they did for the people of this disaster. And here is what struck me as a bit off. They have reported that more than 7000 school rooms collapsed. And guess how many schoolchildren they claim died? No ideas I will tell you 5335. So I am to believe that china has such uncrowded schools that less that one child per room. I realize that not every room was occupied and even those that are not every child died but come on really 7000 rooms and only 5335. And if so few why does the state stop families from coming to beijing to seek redress of their grievances? Seems that either they have something to hide or are not being honest about what happened. Either way, leave it to them to ruin a perfectly good tragedy.

internet

Sorry about the last few days. Apparently the good people who monitor the web here in China have decided to create a more harmonious society and therefore blocked a whole shitload of the websites that I usually visit. This of course included the one I use to post my ramblings on. Thus I had no way to get my thoughts to you. I have asked some of the more enlightened chinese why the web is censored and they tell me it is for my protection. How can I need protection? I have lived in a country where censorship is a cardinal sin against my rights. One where the aclu will fight for my right to say anything I want. Where talk radio openly cheers for the failure of the sitting government. Yet here in china I need to be protected from something bad that someone may say. Its utter nonsense. It is really one of the few things that I have a hard time with here. It isnt the same as the spitting or the pushing and staring. I can understand those as a cultural difference. But the suppression of information and the passive acceptance of censorship is in no way cultural. Just easy on one hand and the continued propagation of the system on the other. But it isnt my country and so I try my best to bite my lip.

shout out

Just want to give a little love to someone who really had a whole lot to do with making me the person I am. An amazing woman who dealt with all the hell and torture we threw her way and never once lost it. Looking back it is truly amazing that anyone could survive my family let alone be the one responsible for its well being. Those of you who know me and think I am a bit off or strange I can only say I was and am the normal and good one of the children (the other children all agree on this point). The other four children,well you would have to meet them to believe it. But the person who steadied the ship, the rudder of the family, my mother. I would like to say thanks. Just thanks. I truly do appreciate all you did and I know that I can not imagine even one tenth of what you(and dad) did for us. You are great. A model for all. I am proud to be your son.